[It would be hell, he knew it. Wash would destroy him if he could find a way, would tear him apart code by code and wouldn't think to stop. Epsilon had taken everything from him again and again and again, and even though it would be robbing Carolina of the last of her family, he probably wouldn't think about it until after it was done.
Church didn't care. He deserved it, too, but he had something to keep him alive...]
I knew they wouldn't make it, all the probabilities told me. Even with the suit, I can't run it the way I am anymore. I was a fucking idiot and I told them. I told them how I could do it - that I'd have to deconstruct myself - but....
[But Caboose's voice... Tucker's eyes...]
You know they wouldn't let me. I let them talk me out of it. It was the only chance they had, but they said they had been through worse odds and pulled through. And... they were right on that, but fucking wrong on this. [He disappeared for a second, overcome, not wanting Wash to see.]
Wash, I know what you're going through! I was with Tucker while he died! I saw-- I felt--- I fucking get it! However shitty you're feeling, I'm feeling it, too! Shit, I'm feeling it worse!
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Church didn't care. He deserved it, too, but he had something to keep him alive...]
I knew they wouldn't make it, all the probabilities told me. Even with the suit, I can't run it the way I am anymore. I was a fucking idiot and I told them. I told them how I could do it - that I'd have to deconstruct myself - but....
[But Caboose's voice... Tucker's eyes...]
You know they wouldn't let me. I let them talk me out of it. It was the only chance they had, but they said they had been through worse odds and pulled through. And... they were right on that, but fucking wrong on this. [He disappeared for a second, overcome, not wanting Wash to see.]
Wash, I know what you're going through! I was with Tucker while he died! I saw-- I felt--- I fucking get it! However shitty you're feeling, I'm feeling it, too! Shit, I'm feeling it worse!